Assertiveness is not being mean or harsh when expressing a thought or feeling. Assertiveness is being able to communicate an intended message. Most of us lack the art and skill of being assertive. This can result in missing out on what we really want or need. Being assertive is an empowering tool. It can build our confidence and self-esteem and help us shape healthy boundaries in all our relationships. Often however, we are not assertive because we are unclear about our own intended messages. For example, at work when speaking to our boss, do we mean, “I’m tired of being taken for granted”? Or do we really mean, “I’d like to talk about getting paid for the extra work I’ve recently taken on”? There’s a big difference and the results can have big consequences. Learn to discern your intended message, to create healthy boundaries by simple communication, and to get what you need and want from all of your relationships.
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